The Boston Bruins: A Decade in Review

With 2009 drawing to a close, the time has come to reflect on what has been a roller-coaster decade in the Hub of Hockey. In honor of the successful, and even the embattled, Bruins teams of the past ten years, I've ranked each one from worst to best:

10) 2004-2005 (Lockout)

Hey, a bad season is better than no season, right?

9) 2005-2006 (29-37-16, 74 points, 5th in Northeast, 13th in Eastern Conference)

Ah, the twilight of the Mike O’Connell era. It’s difficult to determine which of the first two post-lockout seasons was worse, but this one seemed all the more putrid because of the expectations heading into it. The Bruins were supposed to build off their successful '03-04 campaign: 104 points, a division title, and a Calder-worthy performance from Andrew Raycroft. O’Connell pegged the B’s as surefire contenders, delivering a confident endorsement prior to training camp:

This team, the way it's set up with the rule changes, I think that we have to be considered one of the favorites for the Stanley Cup.

The Bruins proceeded to burst out of the gate like that kid at practice who hops onto the ice with his skate guards still on, only to fall flat on his face. Raycroft was quickly exposed as a one-year wonder, losing his starting job after just two months. The free-agent departures of Brian Rolston, Mike Knuble, Michael Nylander and Sergei Gonchar--all of whom went on to flourish elsewhere--could hardly be atoned for by an injury-prone Alexei Zhamnov and an aging Brian Leetch. A bunch of losses and one “Jumbo” trade later, it was already time to rebuild. Thankfully, the Bruins were able to parlay the cap space created by Joe Thornton’s departure into dually important free-agent acquisitions: Marc Savard and Zdeno Chara. Thus, the future became a little brighter with some incoming talent to complement Patrice Bergeron.

8) 2006-2007 (35-41-6, 73 points, 5th in Northeast, 13th in Eastern Conference)

This Bruins team was saved from the bottom of my rankings by the fact that it somehow flirted with playoff contention as late as March despite subpar offensive production (23rd in goals for) and abominable defense (29th in goals against). The wheels officially fell off over the final 12 games of the season, in which the Bruins posted a 1-10-1 record--effectively dropping the guillotine on one-year coach Dave Lewis, our favorite Hitler look-a-like. A further look at the statistics reveals how brutal this team truly was: they scored just 219 goals while giving up 289, their second-highest total allowed since 1986. The goal differential of -70 was Boston’s worst since 1967. Seventeen players recorded a -10 rating or worse; five cracked the -20 barrier.

Of course, it isn’t always the coach’s fault. This team was beset by inexperience, underperformance, and shortcomings in talent that were likely beyond Lewis’ grasp. Hannu Toivonen was a complete flop, Chara struggled in his first season in Boston, and Brad Boyes, coming off a superb rookie season in which he put up 69 points, managed just 34 points in 62 games before being shipped off to St. Louis. On the bright side, Marc Savard put up 96 points, Bergeron continued to blossom offensively, and in came Claude Julien to save the day.

7) 1999-2000 (24-39-19-6, 73 points, 5th in Northeast, 12th in Eastern Conference)

The Bruins kicked off the century with a whimper, following up an appearance in the conference semifinals with a disappointing 12th-place finish--thanks in part to key injuries to Byron Dafoe and Jason Allison. Despite staying out of contention all season, the ’99-00 squad didn’t stay out of the headlines: veteran defenseman and noted pugilist Marty McSorley garnered infamy in February of 2000, mistaking Donald Brashear’s head for an oversized baseball in one of the NHL’s all-time ugliest instances of goonery. McSorley earned a one-year suspension and a criminal trial in which he was pegged with 18 months of probation.

The most significant moment of the season occurred at the trade deadline, when the Bruins granted Ray Bourque’s wish to depart in search of his first Stanley Cup. On March 6, 2000, Boston waved goodbye to its longtime franchise player, trading him to the Avalanche alongside Dave Andreychuk in exchange for Samuel Pahlsson, Martin Grenier and Brian Rolston. While Grenier never suited up for the B’s and Pahlsson played just 17 games the following season before being traded, Rolston proved a valuable asset for the Bruins moving forward. The Bourque trade, combined with the rise of Thornton and Sergei Samsonov, would usher in a new era of abbreviated pre-lockout success for the Bruins.

6) 2000-2001 (36-30-8-8, 88 points, 4th in Northeast, 9th in Eastern Conference)

My final Bruins team on the countdown to miss the playoffs, the '00-01 squad was narrowly edged out for the eighth seed by a Hurricanes team with the same number of points, but more wins. Those sneaky ‘Canes always ruin it for everyone else. The sting of just barely missing aside, this campaign served as a significant springboard for a strong run the following season. The Bruins turned Anson Carter’s contract dispute into a trade for Bill Guerin, who became a centerpiece in the offense upon his arrival from Edmonton, scoring 28 goals in 64 games. The Pat Burns era came to an end as he was fired just 8 games in, and Mike Keenan, the NHL’s neighborhood bicycle, took over for the remainder of the season--though the Bruins decided against retaining him, apparently due to his unpopularity amongst the players. No surprise there. Robbie Ftorek, who did awesome things like this, would replace Keenan behind the bench for the '01-02 season.

On a side note, Bruins fans still got to enjoy the playoffs by adopting the Avalanche as a surrogate team for the second straight postseason. Bourque’s long-awaited championship was the NHL’s best moment of the decade, hands down.

5) 2002-2003 (36-31-11-4, 87 points, 3rd in Northeast, 8th in conference

Fun fact: this squad, 19-4-3-1 through the first 27 games, sported a record practically identical to that of the '08-09 team through as many games (19-4-4). But, alas, 27 games does not a season make, and these pretenders flat-out collapsed, going 17-27-8-3 the rest of the way and barely clinging to the eighth seed. Ftorek didn’t last the season despite the fact that the Bruins remained in playoff contention throughout; unsurprisingly, O’Connell didn’t make things much better when he took over. Scoring certainly wasn’t the problem--led by Glen Murray’s 44 goals and Thornton’s 101 points, the Bruins boasted the second best offense in the conference. But they gave up lots of goals, too, thanks in large part to the porous goaltending trio of John Grahame, Steve Shields, and Jeff Hackett, who combined for a save percentage well below .900.

Once the postseason rolled around, the Bruins were ripe for the picking, like Matty Niskanen in the corner against Sheriff Shane Hnidy. Top-seeded New Jersey brushed them off in the first round en route to their third Stanley Cup in nine years. Exeunt Bruins in five games.

4) 2007-2008 (41-29-12, 94 points, 3rd in Northeast, 8th in conference)

Not much was expected of the Bruins heading into the ’07-08 campaign, and the immediate future seemed bleak when Patrice Bergeron suffered a season-ending concussion just seven games in. But the Bruins rallied around Claude Julien’s system and squeaked out an eighth-place finish on the strength of staunch defense and stellar goaltending from Tim Thomas and Alex Auld. Chara shook off his disappointing ’06-07 season, improving his +/- from -21 to +14 to go along with a career-high 51 points. Marco Sturm potted a career-high 29 goals, and David Krejci and Milan Lucic stepped up with compelling rookie campaigns.

The Hockey Gods obviously felt it necessary to match the Bruins with the top-seeded Canadiens come playoff time. Montreal--8-0 against Boston in the regular season--was heavily favored to steamroll the Bruins in the first round. But the B’s erased a 3-1 deficit in what was, in my opinion at least, the most entertaining series this team played in all decade--regardless of the final outcome. Game 6 was one of the wildest, most exhilarating games the NHL has seen in recent years. While the B's went on to lose the series, much of the magic from Games 5 and 6 carried over to the following season.

3) 2003-2004 (40-19-15-7, 104 points, 1st in Northeast, 2nd in conference)

The Bruins bounced back from their ’02-03 collapse by earning points in 17 of their first 19 games, going on to clinch the Northeast Division and exceed 100 points for the second time in three years. They were a force in tight games, finishing 22-7-7 in one-goal contests--thanks in large part to Andrew Raycroft, who delivered a superb rookie season in net with a 29-18-9/2.05/.926 line. While Thornton and Murray saw their production dip under new head coach Mike Sullivan, Nick Boynton emerged as the team’s top defenseman and Patrice Bergeron registered 39 points in 71 games as an 18-year old rookie. The Bruins bucked their trend of trade-deadline stinginess by acquiring playmaking center Michael Nylander and high-scoring defenseman Sergei Gonchar in hopes of making a strong postseason run.

Facing the seventh-place Canadiens in the first round, the Bruins took a seemingly invincible 3-1 series lead on Murray’s deflating double-overtime goal in Game 4 that made a complete goat out of Alex Kovalev. Unfortunately, the goal served as a wakeup call for the Habs, who forced a seventh game, battering the Bruins by a combined score of 10-3 over the next two contests. Theodore went on to post a shutout in Game 7 in Boston, marking the second time in three years that the Bruins had fallen victim to the underdog Canadiens in the first round--except this time, Boston allowed Montreal to win a series in which it trailed 3-1 for the first time in franchise history. Ugly indeed.

2) 2001-2002 (43-24-6-9, 101 points, 1st in Northeast, 1st in conference)

Everything came together for the ’01-02 squad in the regular season. The offense thrived: Guerin posted 40 goals for the second straight season, Samsonov and Thornton each produced at a point-per-game clip, and Rolston set a team record with 9 shorthanded goals. The Bruins were further boosted up front when Jason Allison’s holdout produced a trade to Los Angeles for Glen Murray and Jozef Stumpel; Murray put up 35 goals and Stumpel dished out 47 assists after the exchange. Sean O’Donnell anchored the blueline with a +27, P.J. Stock became everyone’s favorite '5-10 enforcer, and Byron Dafoe returned to form with 35 wins and a 2.21 GAA. All in all, Robbie Ftorek’s first season in Boston was a smashing success--until the playoffs, of course.

The Bruins looked as if they’d pounce all over the eighth-place Canadiens, who snuck into the postseason on the shoulders of MVP candidate Jose Theodore. But Boston struggled in the first three games, falling behind 2-1 while allowing 14 goals to a team that averaged just 2.5 goals per game all season. The Bruins seemed poised to turn the series around in Game 4, running down the clock on a 5-2 victory that would send them back home with a fresh start, when Kyle McLaren unnecessarily clotheslined Richard Zednik in the final minutes of the game. McLaren’s services were lost for the remainder of the series after he was suspended by the NHL, and the Canadiens seemed to find some spark from the situation; Theodore held the Bruins to just two goals over the next two games as Montreal went on to win the series 4-2--a disappointing finish to an otherwise strong season.

1) 2008-2009 (53-19-10, 116 points, 1st in Northeast, 1st in conference)

116 points. A first round sweep of the Canadiens (extended footage featuring Jack Edwards here). Coach of the year. Defenseman of the year. Goaltender of the year. Things didn’t quite go as planned in the end, but this was one of the NHL’s marquee regular-season teams of the past decade, and, without contest, the best Bruins team we’ve seen in recent years. No need to say anything more--it’s pretty fresh in everyone’s memory.

B's fizzle, extend losing streak to 4 games

Blah.

That’s the best phrase to describe the Bruins’ effort last night. One game after clawing back to force overtime against the Blackhawks–one of the league’s best–they delivered an absolute stinker, losing 2-0 to the lowly Leafs.

That’s right, the same team that gave up 12 goals to the Bruins in their first two meetings this season. The same team that, heading into the game, had allowed the most goals in the NHL.

And as for the Bruins getting back into that “one of the league’s best” category–after a four-game losing streak, it’s starting to look like some of the early-season problems are reemerging. The night-and-day difference between the last two games sums up what has plagued the players and driven fans insane: flashes of last year’s brilliance–as demonstrated by Friday night’s impressive display of resilience–but no consistent finish, few timely plays and little sense of urgency.

The offense continues its torturous path of unpredictability. With Milan Lucic on the shelf, Marc Savard simply doesn’t have anyone to dish the puck to. His revolving door of wingers in the past few weeks, from Blake Wheeler and Byron Bitz to Marco Sturm and Michael Ryder, has produced virtually nothing; Savard is pointless in the last five games. Claude Julien himself may as well have suited up and skated alongside Savard last night, because Sturm and Ryder basically served as Joey Galloways to Savard’s Tom Brady: completely useless.

As for the rest of the forwards, Julien has had difficulty finding balance. The Bruins have outstanding depth at center: Savard, David Krejci and Patrice Bergeron are all exceptional talents and first-line NHLers, in my opinion. But it’s a problem when your three best forwards play on three different lines, and can’t seem to find anyone to finish the scoring chances they create.

Maybe it’s time to play Bergeron and Krejci together, perhaps shifting Krejci to the wing because of Bergeron’s value in the faceoff circle. As evidenced by Krejci’s tying goal on Friday night off of Bergeron’s rebound, good things happen when your best players are on the ice together.

Three Up:

-The Bruins can largely thank Krejci for that point Friday night. His first multi-goal game in exactly a year wasn’t necessarily the prettiest display, but he showed a willingness to drive to the net that has been lacking for many of the Bruins this year. After an ice-cold start to the season, many people wondered whether his 2008-09 breakout–which included a stretch of 39 points in 25 games–was a costly aberration. If you recall, Krejci’s multi-year deal this past offseason was a significant nail in the coffin for Phil Kessel’s career in Boston. But with nine points in his last nine, complemented by a serious uptick in his playmaking and puck-possession game, he appears to be gaining steam.

-Tuukka Rask’s first goal against Toronto was a softie, and Tim Thomas demonstrated persistent issues with his seemingly enlarged five-hole on Friday night, but let’s face it–goaltending isn’t the issue. Both goaltenders bailed out their defense on numerous occasions over the weekend, giving the players in front of them a chance to stay in the game.

-Johnny Boychuk is making his case for a permanent spot in the lineup, registering his second goal of the season against Chicago and temporarily stirring viewers from their boredom with his monster open-ice hit on Matt Stajan in the third period last night.

Three Down:

-Byron Bitz is a -7 in his past four games; Andrew Ference is a -6 in his past eight–although he registered a primary assist on Chicago’s first goal with his beautiful feed out front to Kris Versteeg.

-Tim Thomas is winless in his past four appearances and has just three wins in his past 13 starts.

-Derek Morris missed Saturday night’s contest with an undisclosed injury; with Mark Stuart and Dennis Wideman already out, the Bruins are now missing half of their regular defensive corps.

Ramblings on the past week

The NHL sure has an odd scheduling policy, particularly in seasons condensed to accommodate the Olympic break. The Bruins are currently in the midst of a four-day layoff sandwiched between home meetings with Toronto, making "Kessel-mania" an extended doubleheader. Even stranger is the fact that the B’s hadn’t faced the Leafs--a division rival--in the first two months of the season, but face them three times in a 14-day span in December and three more times in the final month of the season.

Personal nitpicking of the schedule aside, I found Saturday night’s game--Part I of #81's return--to be both satisfying and thoroughly entertaining. The 7-2 score was perfectly lopsided (though it was even better at 7-0 before Toronto mustered two late goals). It was fitting that Kessel’s ex-setup man, Marc Savard, finished with a hat trick after inking a 7-year bargain of an extension ($28.5 mil). It was nice to see Johnny Boychuk snag his first NHL goal.

In terms of Kessel's performance--while one game certainly doesn’t even come close to putting the trade in perspective--the Bruins have to feel good about themselves after shoving him around to the tune of zero points and a -3 rating. At the very least, the blowout gave us some temporary fulfillment after longing for his scoring prowess through the early season droughts.

The game also diverted our attention from Friday night’s Montreal massacre, which I won’t linger on too much because of the team’s otherwise strong play in recent weeks. Some of the abominable play was fluky--Hunwick and Morris both whiffed on passes that led to Canadiens’ goals. The power play remains an issue, as the Bruins unacceptably wasted two 5-on-3 chances, and remain in the bottom five in the NHL with a 17.1% conversion rate.

But the game didn’t worry me too much overall--the Canadiens were facing heightened pressure on the night of their centennial celebration and came out with bite that the Bruins, probably somewhat distracted by the idea of Kessel’s return the next night, couldn’t match. Interestingly enough, the Bruins themselves seem to come out with the most bite when revenge is on the docket--along with the blowout of the Leafs, they shattered the ‘Canes by an identical score of 7-2 back in October.

Looking ahead to Thursday night’s game, I’m not expecting any 7-0 leads. The Leafs--I’m sorry to say--are on the rise, having played strongly in recent weeks with three wins (by three goals each) in the past four games. Kessel will play better now that he has a game in front of his old fans under his belt, and may even come out with some vengeance. Before you disregard that last statement, consider that he got in his first NHL “fight” last week against Columbus in response to a cross-check from defenseman Kris Russell (you can even see the angry little guy snarl around the 15-16 second mark):

Other thoughts:

-Wasn’t last year the centennial season for Les Habitantes? Enough with the celebrations already. Seems like the folks in Montreal are focusing on the past as a diversion from the worrisome state of affairs in the present--though, to their credit, the Habs really got up for the game on Friday. I’ve always liked Mike Cammalleri as a player, and I can’t say he bothers me much yet as a Canadien, despite his three goals on the night. It’s almost a little disappointing to see him and BC boy Brian Gionta on the Habs these days and not Kovalev and Komisarek, our favorite villains of recent years.

-That’s the best I’ve seen from Carey Price against the B’s since the first four games of the 2008-09 playoff series when he was being touted oh-so-wrongfully as a prodigy, sensation, next coming of Patrick Roy, etc. etc.

-I was happy to see Matt Hunwick sit out Saturday night. It had gotten to the point where enough was enough. Hunwick has definitely shown symptoms of the sophomore slump; perhaps we laid expectations too high for him coming into the season. I predicted 40 points for him, but at this rate, he’ll be lucky to get 20 if he can even stay on the roster all season.

What Bruins fans should be thankful for

With Turkey Day right around the corner, it's only appropriate that we recognize what we're thankful for this season from the B's, who are finally gaining steam after busting out of the gate with the energy of an overweight grandpa in a tryptophan-induced coma:

Patrice Bergeron's return to form

Without a doubt, Bergeron has been Boston's most reliable forward this season, resembling the star player he was becoming before Randy Jones nearly ended his career back in 2007. While it's taken him considerable time to regain his edge, he currently leads the team in scoring and is already one goal shy of his total from last season. Monday night's contest with St. Louis was an accurate summation of his value to the team: an assist on all four Bruins goals--one on the shorthand and two on the man-advantage--in 17:20 of ice time. It's pretty scary to imagine what the Bruins' offense would have been like last season with a healthy, aggressive Bergeron in the mix.

The emergence of Tuukka Rask as a much better and younger Manny Fernandez for Tim Thomas

While Thomas' numbers have been solid (.918 SV%, 2.33 GAA), this season hasn't exactly been a cakewalk for the defending Vezina winner, who sports a sub-.500 record and is currently sidelined with an undisclosed ailment (the Bruins are downright Belichick-ian in terms of secrecy with injuries). Rask spelled Thomas admirably in limited duty early on, and has really shined in his last six starts (5-1, .932 SV%). Should Thomas begin to deteriorate over the next few seasons, it's comforting to know that we have a promising young goaltender who can ably fill his shoes. Plus, he's just as much of a hotheaded psycho:

The Winter Classic

For those of you who are worried (or glad, take your pick) that the Bruins' slow start has emptied the bandwagon from last year, you'll see how that changes on January 1st. Bruins fans past and present--whether or not they are self-proclaimed boycotters of Jeremy Jacobs' product or just plain bitter souls about the Thornton trade--will be watching the NHL's most exciting regular-season event. Even Boston fans that don't have a clue about hockey will tune in just for the sheer spectacle. I think I know at least five people who are going that can't name a single player on the Bruins; hopefully, after attending this game, they'll see the light.

The recent state of affairs

Heading into the current road trip, the Bruins were presented with a pivotal juncture in the season: continue losing and face potential changes, or get their shit together and re-establish themselves as a team to be reckoned with. After winning the first three games of the road trip in all-around impressive fashion, the Bruins appear to be getting the message. Couple that with the returns of Lucic and Savard and the Bruins look to be in good shape heading into the month of December.

The Maple Leafs

I don't care if Phil Kessel scores 40 goals this year--as long as the Leafs finish terribly and we make the playoffs, it's all good, because their first-round pick could ultimately bring us a much better player. Plus, it's just funny to watch the most important team in hockey continue to flounder despite all the changes that have been made up there.

Honorable Mentions: Jack Edwards, Signs of life from Dennis Wideman, Shawn Thornton & Byron Bitz, Jeremy Jacobs' enthusiasm and presence at home games (just kidding), The guy in the conductor hat who dances in the stands at games, Rene Rancourt

Preview: Bruins @ Thrashers, 7 PM

One of the sole benefits of being an NHL team in the South is the fact that your Ice Girls are probably substantially hotter than those elsewhere. Bruins fans should at least have some eye candy to occupy themselves with should the offense continue to put everyone to sleep tonight.

The Basics

Barring any last-minute setbacks, Milan Lucic is expected to return tonight. The Thrashers, meanwhile, should prove more of a formidable opponent than in years past; they're riding a four-game winning streak and have scored 18 goals over that span. By comparison, the B's have scored just 17 goals in their past 10 games, and have just three wins over that stretch. They are in the midst of a three-game losing streak (0-1-2).

What to Watch For

Bruins: Lucic's progress is worth monitoring, but David Krejci may be on the verge of an explosion. He seems to have fully shaken the effects of swine flu and offseason surgery, and was far and away the Bruins' best offensive player over the last two games. I get the sense that his re-emergence is approaching--something that would be huge for Michael Ryder, who seems unable to find his game by himself. Look for Krejci's line to be buzzing in the early going tonight.

Thrashers: Ilya Kovalchuk is one of the best players in the league and will be the center of Zdeno Chara's attention. But, unlike past seasons, he's surrounded by a decent supporting cast. Second-line winger Rich Peverley has emerged from obscurity to post 8-15-23 totals in 17 games, and has been a factor on special teams with 5 power-play goals. Look for him and the Thrasher's power-play unit--2nd in the NHL at 26.5%--to give the Bruins fits should they encounter penalty trouble.

Fact of the Day

Through November 17 last season, Krejci had 9 points in 19 games. From November 19 through January 27, he scored 44 points in 30 games. Just sayin'.

Lucic nears return, Savard on schedule

Finally, some good news!

The Bruins, searching for an offense that can compete above Pee-Wee level, have seen encouraging progress from injured first-liners Milan Lucic and Marc Savard. Brendan Hall of The Boston Globe reported today that Lucic is participating in full-contact practice drills and may be close to returning:

Coach Claude Julien said Lucic is “a game-time decision’’ for tomorrow night’s game at Atlanta. But considering the Bruins’ recent scoring slump, don’t be surprised if the left wing suits up. After putting up a plethora of shots against the Panthers (40, to no avail) and Penguins (33, in a 6-5 overtime loss), the Bruins struggled to create open looks in front of the net in a 4-1 loss to the Islanders Monday.

Lucic's return would be a major boost for the 8-8-4 Bruins, saddled all season long by mediocrity and inconsistency up front. They've failed to sufficiently replace their injured stars, receiving minimal contributions from David Krejci, Michael Ryder, Mark Recchi, and Marco Sturm, who have combined for just 13 goals all season. While Lucic didn't score in six games before being sidelined, he potted 17 goals in 72 games last season. The rugged winger--one of Boston's most physical players--will also provide plenty of help on the forecheck, which should create more scoring chances for the rest of the struggling forwards.

Hall also relayed some good news regarding Savard's injury:

Meanwhile, Marc Savard skated for roughly 20 minutes before the team practiced. Savard, who was also put on long-term injured reserve last month with a broken left foot, was still wearing a protective boot as recently as Monday.

While Savard will remain sidelined for the foreseeable future, he is progressing on schedule and should return by the beginning of December. The power play, dead-last in the league at 12.9%, will certainly re-welcome his playmaking abilities.

Looking for more from the 3 "M"s

Since I'd rather not explore the abyss of Boston's embarrassing 4-1 loss to the Islanders last night, and since Dennis Wideman is just way too easy to pick on, I figured I'd analyze our most underachieving, high-profile offensive players not currently injured or named "David Krejci."

At the quarter mark of the season, none of the following are on pace to crack the 40-point barrier. Viewed as key forwards heading into the campaign, all three will certainly need to pick it up over the last 3/4 of the season if the Bruins hope to overcome their dismal start. Along with pinpointing their struggles, I provided an appropriate "Bermanism" for each player (for you sports fans who grew up under a rock, those are nicknames punning off of the player's last name):

Mark Recchi: He's morphed into the second coming of Glen Murray during his final stages with the B's--an old, tired, and frequently invisible spare part. While Recchi is a highly respected member of the NHL community and an extremely tough cookie--he played Game 7 within 24 hours of kidney stone removal last year, for Christ's sake--one has to believe that he's on his last legs. Mark "Train" Recchi is only appropriate as the former star barrels downhill into the twilight of his career. Mark "Tyrannosaurus" Recchi also received votes for the old-timer, as he appears to be better suited for the set of Jurassic Park than an NHL rink these days.

Michael Ryder: The enigmatic winger was just as ineffective at the beginning of last season as he is now, scoring just 3 goals in his first 22 games. The difference is that Ryder had the "fortune" of struggling while the rest of the B's were gaining steam last November; this season, now that the losses are beginning to pile up a little, he can hardly fly under the radar. While he provides the occasional flash, he usually proceeds to disappear for shifts at a time--earning himself the nickname, Michael "Ghost" Ryder. After all, Bruins fans have recently received him about as well as movie critics received the Nicolas Cage flop back in 2007. Honorable mention Michael "Easy" Ryder also enjoys tokin' it up with Peter Fonda before games, which may explain his sluggish skating on the forecheck.

Marco Sturm: Sturmy--normally dependable for 25 goals and 40-50 points over a full slate--deserves a bit of a break after coming back from a completely lost season, but I can't say I expected him to struggle this much. He went a month between goals, with his second goal of the season coming on October 8th, his third on November 7th. And, after scoring 25 combined goals on the man-advantage in his first three seasons in Boston, he still hasn't scored on the power play this season. The bottom line is that Marco "Infertile" Sturm just seems unable to produce anything these days. Marco "The Perfect" Sturm also received votes because, much like George Clooney's crew in the movie, he vanished long ago and still hasn't returned. Then again, the same can be said for the rest of the Bruins at this point.